Rewinding with a Bic pen

For anyone who remembers cataloguing their home collection of VHS videos, or the precise tension of a Bic pen wedged into a cassette tape, rewinding a mix you’d recorded straight from the radio (god forbid you’d bumped the bed while recording, or ruined your masterpiece with an accidental cough).

For anyone who remembers when a five pound note was a big deal, or, when negotiating, as a teenager, with your parents to use the one landline in the house.

If you are nodding to any of these throwbacks, this is a safe space, read on.

Technology has evolved in ways I can barely comprehend, and yet I’m not convinced life is truly ‘better’ now than 50 years ago, the year I was born.

I’m English, and was born into a middle class family. Off to a good start, you could argue.

Whilst my work in international development to date has offered me many alternative perspectives, my childhood was framed within the comfortable trappings of a loving family, with two parents who worked hard and put my brother and I before most other things (although not quite above making us wear seatbelts at 3am on the way home from a boozy party when Dad was, let’s not pretend otherwise, two sandwiches short of a picnic and over the legal limit).

Life was different back then.

I’ve written before about the fortunate timing of my arrival to this world, coming as it did on the back of generations and generations of families who’d operated more in the “children should be seen but not heard” camp.

I, on the other hand, was given a voice by my parents, and better still given the confidence to use it at home, at school, and in public. A freedom and a privilege that still bedazzles me. In the UK, at least, and in my household (that’s the only reference point I can speak to) the mid 70’s were a pivotal moment for kids.

Rose-tinted this introduction might be, let me get back to technology…

“Tech” when I was an adolescent, was having a fourth TV channel – Channel 4, no less – which curated hip new programmes for young people. Tech was recording WWF wrestling and American football matches overnight, and then watching them at 6am, with my brother and a large bowl of Cornflakes before school.

This, this was living.

The very snazzy Acorn Electron, circa The 80s.

Just about the same time I got excited at the prospect of printing out movie names on a “tape gun,” and sticking these onto our VHS tapes (housed in a fake-mahogany drawer underneath a bulky television that occupied one third of our “TV” room) we acquired our first computer, an Acorn Electron.

This would have been at some point towards the end of the 1980’s. We were elated at the time. A brave new world, indeed.

Quality time spent playing Pac-Man on this computer was the sum total of my tech experience until I was fairly deep into my 20’s. All throughout university we wrote essays by hand and, aside from nights spent with my friends playing Street Fighter and Mario Karts, I was too wrapped up in parties and sports to be bothered with much else (although I do still have fond memories of rocking out to Culture Club on my Sony Walkman, on holiday in the Canaries when I was about fourteen years old. Does that count for anything?)

When I then left the UK to spend a year teaching in a village in Uganda, around 1996, I used up all my spare time writing and receiving dozens of letters each week. There was not a digital device within a hundred of miles.

I recall utilising the poste restante services of several post offices in Zanzibar and Mombasa during the holidays when I went travelling (this was where someone could mail you a letter to pick up from town to town, as you moved around). The build up of bubbling excitement on each occasion, asking if there was any mail for you in a far off African town, was palpable.

It was a fax machine that we used in Kampala back then, to communicate home. Just as it was a fax machine I then used to send out marketing posters to customers, during the first year of my inaugural “real job” working at World Challenge Expeditions, in London, in 1997. Our office had one computer, and we had to share it between twenty six staff.

In this same job I was given a car and, ultimately, an early Motorola phone. This was exciting, although I typically used it when I was driving, lodged between my ear and shoulder, a road atlas on my lap, whilst chowing down a service station sandwich (not cool, kids – do not do this.)

If these images have sparked memories for you then perhaps, like me, you feel rather luddite-y around your children, or around your younger colleagues at work, any time something to do with technology, coding, or gigabytes comes up in conversation?

I feel quite border-line on all this. On the one hand, I find myself actively trying hard to email, text, blog, build myself a website, and so on, whilst simultaneously lamenting a time now long gone, when I’d sit fixated by a friend’s hand-written letter to me from his or her respective university, catching me up to speed on their course, their love life, or their well-being.

We didn’t have any actual conversations back then about “well-being”. Nor many therapists or online-specialists to organise our thoughts, or to promote journaling, meditation or the merits of a decent granola. We connected through the compassion that can be found in words, and in the act of letter-writing or (and also a dying art-form, it seems to me) just calling someone for a chat.

My first unwittingly taken ‘selfie’ in the summer of 1995. Ahead of my time, I was.

I sound one hundred years old just saying all this, but I do hark for these simpler times.

My daughters connect a lot with friends via their phones. This is their time, and this is their way of doing what I did. And so it makes me very happy, intuitively, to imagine (and hope) that they are having an equally fulfilling childhood, as I know I did, when it comes to socialising. I’ll never really know, and it’s too much of a challenge to compare and contrast.

As ex-pats, living in the tropics, there are obviously lots of differences to growing up in rural England. However, I’ve long been at peace with the fact that my girls’ formative years are theirs, and not mine to live through vicariously. That they have social media in their lives is both good and bad, just as my brother and I had the television to keep us stimulated.

Social media is addictive, as is TV. But social media is also a platform for connection that, for now, offers so much more interaction and options, that I believe it can only be a good piece of progress, and I’m not fighting it. There are downsides to it, and I feel these will only become more pronounced, and how we all communicate will pivot once more towards something else. Right now, I think it’s fair to ask: are we all more connected, or just more plugged in?

Thirty years from now, my daughters will likely ruminate, as I am now, about the younger generation, and I can only imagine what might manifest then and how outdated AI will be by then.

Instead, as a holding pattern for me right now, I write letters and cards, when I can. I’ve been reading more poetry of late. I’ve been writing more thoughts down, the old fashioned way, and also stopping more to engage properly in what is going on around me.

All of which feels so familiar, it is as if hardly anything has changed since I was half the age I am now. It’s all still there, perfectly accessible.

Being more aware, and less dependent on your phone, is not unique, of course. Many people don’t have smart phones, and some are off the social media “grid” completely however technology is exponentially growing at a rate that I, for one, am failing to keep up with.

I’ll keep trying, but the truth is that I don’t think any technology can replace, for me, just how the trill of a phone ringing, or the metal clunk of a letter-box flapping, for those few seconds, used to made my heart skip a beat.

Last Day

With the lunar new year just two weeks away, fireworks and festivities are being procured and arranged over here in Saigon, and the streets certainly feel livelier than normal.

This morning’s cool air is as fresh as we ever get to experience down in the south. Not the minus temperatures felt in other parts of the world, but a brief ‘Goldilocks’ period where the sun still shines, the breeze is almost cold, and the humidity abates. Not for long, mind you. But, it’s a welcome reprieve from the typically muggy, sweaty days spent avoiding the thick heat.

January is a reflection month for many, whether it arrives on the coattails of Christmas or, if you are Vietnamese, if it happens to be the month that hosts ‘Tet’ (Lunar New Year) celebrations.

Just as our cooler weather here momentarily provides a break from the norm, the ritual of Tet and the start of a new year mirror an instinct shared across cultures to begin afresh. It is a Tet tradition, for example, to spring clean your house and to pay off your debts, whilst containing your excitement at the prospect of receiving your year end bonus (an extra month’s salary.)

For those already a fortnight into 2025, ‘reflections’ on life are running amok over the internet. I read this morning, for instance, about the benefits of “mimicking hibernating” during the winter. We should slow things down, the article advises, and reboot.

If anything, for lots of people in “the west”, the hectic pace of life during December can be so relentless that, come Christmas, slowing down takes on a new dimension, as hoards of festive home comers almost immediately fall prey to fatigue, flu or the merry breakdown of over-used and depleted internal organs, the minute they slump in an armchair clutching a mince pie.

In the whirlwind of any major holiday, it is normal to feel that mix of exhaustion and exhilaration. It’s a universal rhythm, a reminder of both the joy and the effort it takes to celebrate life.

These rituals seem linked to our collective urge to reset and to reflect. Whether through meditation, or simply savoring small moments, we often seek out ways to reconnect with ourselves in the melee of everyday life.

Reflection itself is a valuable commodity, whether you are doubling down on it in January, or at other times of the year. It’s how we process the past and prepare for the future, and I suspect the practise of meditation itself becomes more popular the older one gets, for this very reason.

Once you have learnt how to meditate, I’ve heard it can be applied to other activities – washing the dishes, for example.

I’m currently trying to convince my daughters of this, in an attempt to make my invitations to them to take on a household chore be met with less eye-rolling, and to be treated more as a “short mental holiday” – a phrase I heard someone use.

On the occasions where such wisdom is not absorbed by my teenagers, I resort to threatening to dock their pocket money.

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As my kids have had weekly ‘mindfulness’ classes at school now for several years, I’ve half expected them to be advising me on the art of taking a short mental holiday.

When I was their age, mindfulness wasn’t taught in schools, because you magically created it for yourself. Aside from being sprawled on the carpet in front of the TV for hours on end, the rest of my childhood was probably about 90% “mindful”. We had a lot of time to kill just staring at things. Into the sky, out of car windows.

If we went on long car journeys, I recall, my brother and I would watch the rain droplets race each other across the car windows, as Dad sped up down the motorway.

And, if we’re playing that game, then when Britain’s first motorway – the M1 – was actually constructed, my father fondly remembers spending the day out with his parents, driving up and down it for the first time. Just for the experience.

Imagine choosing to drive up the M1 and back, just for the experience.

In many ways, it’s a reminder that, as children, we instinctively found wonder in the world around us. I think this can get eclipsed as a core skill, as we get older and inevitably become distracted with other things.

Valuing what we’re doing, as we do it, can therefore be surprisingly rewarding.

To listen, to breathe, to feel – these are all credible and affordable past-times, requiring no digital platforms, and no hash-tags. They’re small acts, but they create space for us to notice life as it unfolds, and also to pick up on the daily changes we experience, manifesting ever so slightly as they often do.

If January is a good time for a reset and to reflect, I’ve concluded that it helps to remember, too, that each day is unique. Today is the last day you’ll ever experience life exactly as you are now – your thoughts, feelings, and perspective will evolve tomorrow, even if only slightly.

We barely notice these changes from one breakfast sitting to the next, but change is happening – physiologically, mentally, spiritually. We might not realise it as a constant, but we’ve all had those moments – a photo, a memory, or a milestone – that remind us how far we’ve come.

In this way, I’m quite taken by the idea that we’re all works in progress, one day at a time.

To me, it doesn’t matter if you’re “better” tomorrow than you were yesterday, or not.

Being ‘better’ in different aspects of life is drummed into us (I suppose the opposite mantra doesn’t have quite the same appeal.) Rather than simply ‘better’ I think it helps to acknowledge being different today to how we were the day before. Even if you think that waking up and reaching for your phone felt pretty much the same this morning as it did yesterday, it isn’t.

Today will be the last day you show up, and the last day you feel, listen and breathe as exactly who you are today. Tomorrow is a different you. Your routine might remain the same, you might think you feel the same thoughts, and hold the same views, but you won’t.

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We’re all guilty of experiencing ‘FOMO’ – a fear of missing out – and I enjoyed reading a twist on this recently called ‘JOMO’ – the JOY of missing out.

That rush of relief at finding time being given back to you. Or, better still, proactively ensuring time for yourself is marked out. Saying “no” to things.

January, it could be argued, is peak JOMO territory for many people, given the lack of money and energy to actually go out and socialise in the first place.

FOMO in January? Of what?

I don’t think my FOMO will altogether disappear, now that I’ve discovered JOMO can be a worthy antidote to the constant pressures to do, to achieve, and to be everywhere at once.

JOMO, however, reminds us of the joy in stepping back, in letting go, and in savoring today. Because this day – this unique combination of who we are, what we feel, and how we see the world – will never come again.

And that is worth celebrating.